Attitude is everything, is change possible?
By Dr. Elior Kinarthy
Psychologist
Psychology defines attitude as a tendency to act in a certain way, and it is usually predictable. The tendency to act depends on the triggers in your environment. The ability to act on signals in your environment can be dormant, sometimes for years. When there is a belief and some important event happens, usually personal, the belief then turns into an attitude. Belief plus action equals an attitude.
The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, says that babies are born with an excellent memory, and everything gets registered automatically by the time the child is 5 years old. The mind is 95% full of beliefs and millions of behavioural scripts and that determines the rest of their life. How a child behaves at 5 years old, can predict accurately what kind of personality that child will have at age 25. If you spoil your child in the first 5 years, as an adult they will not be as successful or productive. They will believe that the world owes them everything, and they will have a tendency to expect people to do everything for them.
A human being is born without a mind, just a potential, and therefore compliance is the first step towards beliefs and attitude formations. Belief systems occur after a period of compliance with parents, authorities and those that reinforce and regulate behaviour. Compliance is the skeleton of attitude formation in psychology. There is a genetic predisposition to behave with compliance and that ensures the survival of the species.
Dr. Thorndike’s work on the learning process, helped lay the scientific foundation for educational psychology. He said in his Law of Effect, "Responses that produce a satisfying effect in a particular situation become more likely to occur again in that situation, and responses that produce a discomforting effect become less likely to occur .” If the consequences of a child’s behaviour are consistent, the child’s behaviour is predictable. Obedience to the person in charge becomes instantly registered in the subconscious mind.
Both negative and positive attitudes are seeds planted by significant others who have power and control. Behaviour is controlled by its consequences. The child grows up to become poor or rich due to their attitudes towards earning money. Parents that have negative attitudes about their work, looking for a job, being fired or not having enough money tend to blame others for their situation. The child absorbs these attitudes and as a consequence he copies that adult and then that child will tend to argue with their teacher and may not be a productive student. Parents that dump their frustrations on their children can create a child that is frustrated in school. Poor attitudes from significant family members that are learned from early childhood often leads to poverty later in life.
Good attitudes come from parents that enjoy their work and are happy with what they do. Then the child develops good ways of thinking about success because his parents treat him well and the belief systems turn into an attitude. The child copies the behaviour of his successful parents. One of the best things a parent can do is open a checking and savings account in a bank or credit union to teach their child the value and importance of earning money. Twenty years later, that child may become a successful investor.
Can one change a bad attitude about success and achievement that can lead to poverty? Attitude is everything, and change is very challenging for everyone. You usually cannot change an attitude directly. Most people cannot sit down one day and promise to see a counsellor, stop smoking, lose weight, get a job or other major changes as most attempts end in failure. It’s almost impossible to change an attitude directly as they reside deep in your subconscious from childhood scripts, but it is possible to change an attitude indirectly.
Here are some suggestions for making positive attitude changes:
Start with easy things like getting rid of clothes that have stains, tears or holes.
Change your music; lyrics are very important and they should be positive and up-lifting.
Change your eating habits; eat more fresh vegetables and fruits and improve your health.
Change your room; clean and get rid of the items that remind you of failure.
Do more exercise and find a nonviolent sport that you enjoy (not boxing) try tennis or basketball.
Change your job if it is a negative influence and find something you love to do.
Change your signifiant other if that person is dragging you down with their poor attitude.
Never make resolutions to change an attitude because resolutions become an excuse to keep trying and then to complain about failure.
Get more spiritual! We are born spiritual beings so we don’t need to acquire spirituality we need to uncover it. Meditate, read books on spirituality, smile, laugh more and create positive thoughts.
Appreciate every moment.